Creative Discussions > Fan Fiction & Writing

These Streets Pt4

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spirit:
Have you ever read Fight Club? That is written in very choppy, short sentences, and it works, but it doesn't flow....anyway, good job, I'm pleased to hear that was all intentional.

Declan_23:
No I haven't, but I mean to, when I have monies :P

Jerry:
It's maybe just because of me... I didn't really know who 'survived' the fight back then. When you were saying the opponent seemed strong and all that, and taking him to somewhere, I wasn't sure who was being taken, and who died. Now, it's settled, and we have an idea of who took the character. I may have to reread all of them to see if I didn't miss some possible link.

Declan_23:
Nah, I have a clear idea of the plot in my head, but it may not be obvious from my writing. Hopefully this makes it more exciting :D

Pubbles:
Write each part longer!!

/whine

But seriously, if you could make each portion a bit longer, either by description (preferred) or dialogue, each part would come out very professional. There are a few places in each of these parts that you could through in a bit more of description and enrich the story a bit.

But you already knew what I thought, but I wanted to post it anyways, so hah!

-Pubbs

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