Pokémon Discussion > General Chat
[GUILD] The Organization
NexosYourGayBestFriend96:
I want to get it, but my money is drained from my recent 3DS purchase.
On a random note: I like corn.
GrizzlyEatsKids:
Well, the 3DS purchase wasn't necessarily bad.
Also, we have a writing competition winner, and have decided to announce it today. The voting was kept fair and anonymous, and I have come out the winner. I'll post my entry below. Also, all competition winners will be added to the front page, along with Nex's new banner.
"Cyrus, get down from there. You've never jumped this far before."
Seventeen year-old Cyrus Rider, annoyed, stood with his arms crossed on the long roof of an old super mart, anxiously tapping his foot.
"So?"
"What do you mean, 'so'? This is dangerous!" Cyrus' best friend, Reese, was trying desperately to prevent Cyrus from hurting himself. To Cyrus the stunt he was about to attempt was just another one of his parkour routines.
"Of course it's dangerous! All parkour is dangerous! I've done things far more dangerous than this before. Remember that time I climbed Gear Tower?"
"Yeah, I remember, you almost died."
"But I didn't." Gear Tower was the tallest building in the Sigma Sector, belonging to Sanctum’s number one manufacturing company, Gear Industries. Two years ago Cyrus had scaled the side of the building, nearly falling off a couple of times, but he did it nonetheless. Today, though, Cyrus was going to attempt jumping the gap between the old super mart he now stood on and the shut down car dealership next to it. They weren't sure exactly how far the distance was, but both Cyrus and Reese knew that it was farther than any jump he had done before.
"So can I go now?" Cyrus was clearly agitated by this point.
"No! You can't jump! What if a Protector catches you doing parkour?"
The Protectors were the general name of all the soldiers that worked for Shield, Sanctum's government.
"No Protector's going to catch me. All of the Protectors anywhere near here are at the castle preparing for the party tonight."
"You mean the banquet? And so what? There are still going to be Protectors on patrol."
"It's more like a party, I mean, have you seen the royalty around this place? Plus, if a Protector catches me, what are they going to do, arrest me? It isn't a big enough crime for them to do that. They'll probably just escort me back to the castle, which is where I would be going anyway."
"Well that's fine and all, but what is your uncle going to say?"
"Pffft, my uncle? He won't care. He never cares, and you know that. The Admin of the Sigma Sector doesn't have time for such things."
"But according to you he has time to drink and party?"
"Exactly. So are we done arguing yet?"
"Fine, go ahead, but don't blame me when you break every bone in your body."
"Whatever." Cyrus got in position to take off. He slowed is breathing. Began to focus, started to calm down, but not too calm, or else he wouldn’t make the jump for sure. He loosened his body, and launched himself forward. His feet pushed into the old, worn out roof, propelling him forward with great speed. His breathing began to increase; his heart thumping ever more persistently in his chest. Despite calming himself, the inevitable rush of adrenaline pushed Cyrus, urged him to run. Then he heard something.
"You, on the roof! Stop!" Cyrus hesitated at the command of the Protector. He tried to stop, slamming his heels into the roof, but his momentum carried him forward, forced him to keep going. Cyrus then fell off of the super mart's roof.
EDIT: Who read the story? What are your thoughts on it? Also, Battle Day, which was scheduled for tomorrow (Friday), is postponed. We'd like to maybe get a few more members first, or at the very least, ensure that a couple more members can attend.
The-Blades-slave:
My thoughts on it? I'll cut it short. You wrote it in RP format, but when you messaged this to me months ago, you told me it was a story. If it's a story, you're missing too much information. You can't just jump into a book your writing and rip out a random chapter and say: "Here, I'm going to submit this."
We have no idea what the characters look like, no idea what they are doing there, no idea about general anything other than one of them wants to pull a stunt, the other one doesn't want him to, and a cop catches them.
Humen:
Hey guys there is something I've been wondering that I would like some insight on.
If a girl u know finds your key in the morning and dosent return it till the evening that's not very weird right?
Now if that girl suddenly woke u up in the morning even though she shouldn't have any way to enter my home as I locked all the doors should I be worried by this.
Sorry if anyone is displeased on how unrelated this is.
GrizzlyEatsKids:
Well, Blades, the point of this was to submit a short rough draft of a first chapter of a story (which I'm not even carrying out). Thanks for the feedback, but I know what I did wrong I refuse to submit any of my newer, higher quality works, as I wish to keep them completely secret for the time being. This was not my best, but it was what I submitted.
And Humen, I have no clue what you're talking about.
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