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The Writing Support Thread

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The-Blades-slave:
After the few months I took off from writing, I've been having a lot of trouble with describing appearances. In your opinion, what are details that need to be there, and what are ones that should be left out? I recently started filling out fenror's template for Ash, because I do need to work on his character, and I'm stuck on appearance. I have it partially done/done, but there's a few things I could add. The thing is they can be told about in he RP for more information about his past, because it's things like scars. Should I add them or no? I have this:

"Ashton has a solid build, with a nonchalant look about him. His brown eyes shelter behind his unkempt black hair, shadowed by his red and white cap, always turned forwards. His skin is tanned from years under the sun, and an energetic smile always takes up the majority of his face."

People generally say my descriptions are too long,s o tried to shorten it.

GrizzlyEatsKids:
I think what you have down for appearance there is excellent, not too much, not too little, and it paints a nice picture. The scars could briefly be included, but what you have is a good introduction point to how the character looks. If needed, if this type of thing would be used for a book or story, you could further elaborate a bit later in the story on his appearance in subtle ways, like mentioning the shade/tone of his eyes when looking into a mirror, the shape of his lip when you want to draw the attention to a specific facial expression, and so on.

EDIT: Aside from my novel series, which is still heavy in the planning stage, I've decided to also work on another writing project that is along the lines of something I've been wanting to do. It will be limited to the main character's perspective, and I can use it to really help iron out and develop my writing style before I actually write the novels. It will be an emotional tale, it is my goal to have it non-linear, and in likely won't plan it so much ahead of time like my novels, but I'll rather just jump into it. Does anyone have any tips or thoughts on writing a story that isn't layer out in exact order? I've never written anything non-linear before, but I've always wanted to try it, and this is a good chance for me to use it while challenging myself and developing my abilities. Any tips are greatly appreciated.

Tickles:

--- Quote from: Humen on January 23, 2014, 12:48:05 AM ---How can you use the Changing of facial hair to show emotional change. Not trying to be an ass or anything I'm genuinely curious.

--- End quote ---

Basically, it can convey depression, progress, or any change in reality. A character who trains hard every day might not make it a priority to look their best, in this case, a man would grow a beard without realizing he hasn't shaved in a long time. The same goes for depression, there is lack of motivation to do anything, including looking your best. That's why most shows that have a character that goes through either of these events has them clean shaven at one point, but months later, they have a full lumberjack beard, and generally look awesome or sad. Pretty much any physical change can represent emotional change. A scar can represent a traumatic event the character is still reminded of, a change in weight can show what is going on in the characters life more that explaining it. Even waking up in a drunken stupor naked in the middle of nowhere can show that. It's even funnier when they realize they wasted for months. But I digress, these are writing elements that hit more plot points in a few words. You can even form a plot around one simple change in appearance.

GrizzlyEatsKids:
I think Xetroc nailed it completely. Appearance can do more than just help the reader visualize what a character looks like.

Now, I know the difference between parentheses, dashes, and commas, and in some situations one or two of them can be used interchangeably with one another. I think it could just be due to the fact that I've played with and reworded the paragraph, and this sentence in particular, that I'm currently working on in my novel a ton of times, and so now I'm not quite sure what looks/sounds better in this situation. Here's the sentence:

Still, the party pressed onward, and after several minutes—which to Jack felt more like several hours—of ducking and dodging through the trees, the dense undergrowth began to thin out. Soon enough, the group arrived to the edge of the treescape, and all but the leading wolf scattered away into the shadows.

What I'm mulling over is whether to keep the dashes where I have them, or to put commas there instead. The thing is, due to the way that I've kind of developed and changed my writing style, I now use a lot of details and sensory words in my writing, which naturally leads to a few more commas and pauses in my sentences than I used to use. The number of commas/pauses, while not excessive, are a bit more numerous in the sentences directly surrounding this one, and this sentence has several phrases set off by commas in it already. Addtionally, I do want to draw just a slight bit more attention here to the fact that the minutes felt so drawn out to Jack, as it highlights the impatience that is now a part of his personality. That's quite a lot of thought for something so simple as punctuation like this, but again, my indecision here could be in large part caused by the number of times I've re-written this small section of my novel. So, dashes or commas?

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