Pokemon Universe MMORPG

Creative Discussions => Fan Fiction & Writing => Topic started by: Declan_23 on August 30, 2010, 09:38:16 PM

Title: These Streets Pt1
Post by: Declan_23 on August 30, 2010, 09:38:16 PM
What with all these people writing stuff, I'd turn my hand to it. (Apparently it's in my job description)
Anyway, I've recycled a few old ideas, and if you've read my RP stuff it should be fairly obvious where my inspiration comes from.
Oh and finally, if my story sucks, don't worry the PU quest shouldn't, I put this together pretty quickly.
Here goes:

Snow covered the streets. It should have been cold. But anger is always hot.
Sweat poured down the faces of the crowd. It soaked into their clothes, melting the thin layer of white that had had a chance to settle.
The air felt as if it would rip under the stress of a thousand shouts and screams, punctuated by gunshots.

A teenage boy stood near the back of the throng. Baggy, ripped jeans covered his legs, and he wore a black hoodie, drawn tight to cover his face. He felt the anger surge through him.
It was infectious. It made him feel alive. It gave him a purpose.
How dare they come here and take what was his? Was he expected to give up what he'd spent his life making his?

His train of thought was interrupted as a man in front of him collapsed, blood spraying from his temple. A stray bullet had grazed his head. His lips were moving. Quickly the boy took a knee. The blood formed a pool around his head.

"Any sacrifice, any sacrifice" He murmured as life seeped out of him. Frantically the boy looked for something to stop the bleeding, but it was too late. Condensation had stopped curling upwards from his mouth. The pure dedication made the boy choke with emotion. He had to fight back tears for this man who he'd never known. For the first time he noticed what the man was wearing. A quote was scrawled by hand accross his shirt.
'I say a man who was nothing to die for, is not fit to live'
Forcing his sorrow to take a back seat, he stood up. This man had not given up even at death's door. He vowed that he would fight for these streets with tooth and nail.

With his renewed strength he looked around, ready to take on any figure of authority. But there was a change in the feeling of the crowd. A cheer rippled through the people. They had done it. They had won.


Part 2 (http://pokemon-universe.com/index.php/topic,1611.0.html)
Part 3 (http://pokemon-universe.com/index.php/topic,1627.msg30827/topicseen.html#new)
Part 4 (http://pokemon-universe.com/index.php/topic,1687.new.html#new)
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: YouHearThat on August 31, 2010, 01:41:22 AM
Well I certainly enjoyed this....good work  :)
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: LeoReborn on August 31, 2010, 01:47:32 AM
Excellent, Deccers. ;)


I few things seemed to have....no Clear description, Whether that was Emphasising the Chaos that occured, or purely coincidental.

Either way, Well written, You used lots of descriptive language. Thats key to an awesome story.

I noticed this is Pt I, If you have any more, please Post it.
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: St. Jimmy on August 31, 2010, 02:02:48 AM
Great work :) I hope to see more
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: Jerry on August 31, 2010, 05:53:46 PM
No wonder you got an A ;)
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: Declan_23 on September 02, 2010, 10:42:21 AM
In response to Unbreakable's question, I'm sticking them up here as soon as I write them.
I don't know how many parts there will be. I'll probably keep writing until I run out of ideas, or if people stop noticing them.
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: spirit on September 03, 2010, 08:46:49 AM
Here, happy?

(http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g137/spiritual_kilo/declanstorypage1.jpg)
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: Declan_23 on September 03, 2010, 07:38:09 PM
Errr, what's up with the dates/ numbers?
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: spirit on September 03, 2010, 07:39:32 PM
Errr, what's up with the dates/ numbers?

lol, I was calculating something for my "get to know the team" thing. I thought about editing them out, but I am lazy....
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: Declan_23 on September 03, 2010, 07:41:19 PM
Fair enough, you knwo most computers come with a calculator?
And failing that you can use google.
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: spirit on September 03, 2010, 07:42:36 PM
pssh, i was using a calculator, i was just organizing my thoughts.
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: Jerry on September 03, 2010, 08:07:20 PM
And spirit, it's 'colons' ;)
Title: Re: These Streets Pt1
Post by: spirit on September 03, 2010, 08:54:02 PM
Thanks