* User Info

 
 
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

* Recent Posts

2023 Check in by Gawerty
[March 28, 2023, 12:41:12 am]


Holy crap my login worked. by Ez
[December 03, 2020, 08:56:26 am]


Been a while. by Bing
[July 13, 2019, 04:47:06 am]


Was Feeling Nostalgic (Pokemon Knights) by Monzta
[October 24, 2018, 07:37:00 am]


Old Habits Die Hard by Miss Wednesday
[January 23, 2018, 12:35:35 am]


WHY IS EVERYONE MISSING by Tickles
[September 16, 2017, 08:20:25 pm]


Been a long time. by Monzta
[August 27, 2017, 03:18:58 pm]


Pokemon Universe Tribute Thread by Jerry
[September 29, 2016, 06:41:31 pm]


Author Topic: [Pokedex Entry] Rhyperior  (Read 4828 times)

Offline Shalamyne

  • New Trainer
  • Posts: 4
  • Karma: 0
  • I'M NEW! BE NICE!
    • View Profile
[Pokedex Entry] Rhyperior
« on: March 09, 2014, 01:41:45 pm »
#464 Rhyperior (The Drill Pokemon)

Intro

Rhyperior is a large, brownish-gray Pokémon with two horns: one on its nose, and another one above it. The upper horn is smaller on a female Rhyperior. It has a club-like tail and its hide is partially covered by orange, rocky plates. It has blade-like protrusions on its elbows and has holes in the palms of its hands which works as a cannon or a gun. It also appears to have two thick, rectangular rocks above its eyes, resembling heavy eyebrows.

Diet

Rhyperior's common diet consists of rocks and gems. It has also been seen eating Geodudes and Carbinks.

Habitat
Rhyperior mainly live in the mountains, caves or old mine systems. You will rarely find one anyplace else. They live with packs  of Rhyhorn and Rhydon, usually consisting around 10-15. There is only one Rhyperior per pack.
Biology

Rhyperior can insert rocks and boulders into its arms through the holes in its hands and then fire them like bullets. However, it will occasionally insert and fire Geodude and Carbink by accident. Its natural predators are Golems, they have been seen having battles over territory and food. Rhyperior are one of the main causes of rockslides, this only happens when it looking for food or making a nest. Rhyperiors are known as "The Guardians of the Mountain", They keep order in the mountains and are willing to sacrifice themselves ,if the situations comes to that point, to keep others safe. There is only one Rhyperior per mountain, If the lead Rhyperior dies, the Rhydon, who is next in command, evolves and takes the position as Guardian.

Pokemon League Commission notes

Due to being Guardians of the Mountains, This pokemon is categorized as a Class B under the Endangered Pokemon Act. Under this categorization, this pokemon is obtainable through evolution, with less than 20 in the wild. It is allowed in battle, but the rules on catching the creature are very circumstantial. The hunting of this pokemon is strictly forbidden, and punishable by 500,000 goldz and 25-50 years in prison.

This is my very first entry. Please tell me what you think!

Offline Roloc

  • Lead Gameplay Balancer
  • Administrator
  • Good Trainer
  • ********
  • Posts: 1.414
  • Karma: 18
  • Ivysaur anyone?
    • View Profile
Re: [Pokedex Entry] Rhyperior
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2014, 01:51:45 pm »
Great job. I like it. Welcome to PU by the way. :)
Team Attack Coverage Calculator
Damage Calculator
"Gimmicks only get you so far in a fight without the skill set to back them up."

Offline Shalamyne

  • New Trainer
  • Posts: 4
  • Karma: 0
  • I'M NEW! BE NICE!
    • View Profile
Re: [Pokedex Entry] Rhyperior
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2014, 01:59:52 pm »
Ty Roloc! Anything i need to improve cuz i plan on doing alot more entrys

Offline Sazaraki

  • Beginning Trainer
  • *
  • Posts: 90
  • Karma: 0
  • ^_^
    • View Profile
Re: [Pokedex Entry] Rhyperior
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2014, 02:36:18 pm »
Welcome! I like it. Only a few grammatical errors that are very minor. The other thing is you say "Carbinks" and Geodudes" but you aren't supposed to add an "s" or anything else to the plural form of a Pokemon. They are all the same plural and singular. Great job! Keep it up.

Offline fuzzy3158

  • Pokédex Extraordinaire
  • Moderator
  • Normal Trainer
  • *****
  • Posts: 147
  • Karma: 6
    • View Profile
Re: [Pokedex Entry] Rhyperior
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2014, 07:54:13 pm »
nope, this is no good. You literally copied entire sections from Bulbapedia and that is unacceptable (possible) copyright infringement.

The parts you wrote yourself are really good, keep those and keep up that level. Please rewrite the parts that you copied.

Offline Shalamyne

  • New Trainer
  • Posts: 4
  • Karma: 0
  • I'M NEW! BE NICE!
    • View Profile
Re: [Pokedex Entry] Rhyperior
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2014, 12:37:34 am »
the only section i used was for the intro, which theres really no other way to describe them.....

Offline fuzzy3158

  • Pokédex Extraordinaire
  • Moderator
  • Normal Trainer
  • *****
  • Posts: 147
  • Karma: 6
    • View Profile
Re: [Pokedex Entry] Rhyperior
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2014, 10:37:42 am »
There's always another way. What I do is just describe what I see, you can also just put the Bulbapedia entry into you own words. But seriously, copy+paste is a no-no.

Offline Tickles

  • Last of the Writers
  • Elite Trainer
  • ****
  • Posts: 1.952
  • Karma: 6
  • Currently being awesome... please wait
    • View Profile
Re: [Pokedex Entry] Rhyperior
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2014, 04:58:54 pm »
For one thing, Rypherior would actually be class F since its evolution is solely based on an item. As for wild Rypherior, though it is possible, it will still be under F. I like the guardian idea, but how about this:


This pokemon is considered Class F under the Endangered Pokemon Act. Under this, this pokemon is usually obtainable through trade through a Rhydon holding a Protector. Due to this pokemon's status as a guardian, wild Rhypherior are under the no-catch list, and must be obtained through trade alone. This process is strictly monitored by the MPD, and the PLC in order to prevent false arrests. The catching or hunting of this pokemon is strictly forbidden, and punishable by a 500,000 goldz fine, and 10-15 years in prison.
Find me on Steam: Sir Ticklesword

Offline fuzzy3158

  • Pokédex Extraordinaire
  • Moderator
  • Normal Trainer
  • *****
  • Posts: 147
  • Karma: 6
    • View Profile
Re: [Pokedex Entry] Rhyperior
« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2014, 07:30:28 pm »
There are still some things that you can change about the descriptions. How about the blade-like protrusions coming from his elbows? Is that really the only way to describe that?
If you just try to describe what you see, you'll probably experience that it works to just write down what you see. You probably won't be able to write it better than Bulbapedia, but I can't improve that either, since it's written so wel.
If you want some more help with this, tell me, and I'll gladly give some more suggestions!

Offline fuzzy3158

  • Pokédex Extraordinaire
  • Moderator
  • Normal Trainer
  • *****
  • Posts: 147
  • Karma: 6
    • View Profile
Re: [Pokedex Entry] Rhyperior
« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2014, 07:50:00 pm »
unlocked. I'll consider it abandoned and work on it myself but the owner can work on it too.