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Author Topic: Untitled -for now-  (Read 2918 times)

Offline Hakurin

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Untitled -for now-
« on: July 23, 2010, 05:24:18 PM »
Hope you guys enjoy it, this is all I've written so far:
---------------------

   Today, the new transfer student came in. A red head with a wooden 'x' shaped bag on her back. As she took her first step a thump, followed by, "Ah," could be heard from within the bag. After her third step, she turned to the bag and shouted, "will you quiet down in there?"
   "I can't breathe in here..." returned a voice from inside the weird bag. After a quick apology, she opened the bag and a red mist came out. Followed by the mist were a few magic seals: A red star shaped seal, which indicated something forbidden. A blue quarter moon shaped seal, which meant something was shut inside for good, and a yellow heart shaped seal, which meant something unsettling had occurred. Before the smoke had cleared, coughing and mumbling could be heard coming from within the smoke. "You plan to do me in one of these days, don't you?" came another voice from inside the smoke.
   "What!? No! Why would you say that?" cried the transfer student. As the smoke finally cleared, a glossy red heart attached to the bag, and a blond haired cutey, standing chest forward were at last noticeable. Suddenly the room filled with awe and ooh, "Florina, what's the meaning of this?" asked the teacher.
   "Umm. Well," she took a step, taking somewhat of a sophisticated stance, "as you can see, I have successfully performed the-" before she could finish, a wave of disbelief was heard across the room. As if dealing the last blow, "Successfully, hmm?" finished the teacher.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2010, 05:26:12 PM by Hakurin »
Pika~sneeze!!!

Offline Frenchfry

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Re: Untitled -for now-
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2010, 08:48:31 PM »
It could have used a bit more detail. Who was the blond haired girl? And what was the student performing?
Other than that, good job.

Offline Hakurin

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Re: Untitled -for now-
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2010, 06:42:04 PM »
Thanks, and yea, you're right. I didn't put much into the start of it. So I thought I should write a little more on this one, before doing any others (at least for a while). Took a while since I decided on taking the idea of parkour into my own life, and somewhat started a story on it... So, here is the update (:  ...
Enjoy~
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Today, the new transfer student arrives. She is a red head with a wooden 'x' shaped bag on her back. As she takes her first step a thump, followed by, "Ah," is heard resonating from within the bag. After her third step, she turns to the bag and shouts, "will you quiet down in there?"

"I can't breathe in here..." returns a voice from inside the weird bag. After a quick apology, she opens the bag and a red mist emanates from the bag. Following the mist are a few magic seals: A red star shaped seal, which indicates something forbidden. A blue quarter moon shaped seal, which means something is shut inside for good, and a yellow heart shaped seal, which means something unsettling has occurred. Before the smoke cleared away, coughing and mumbling was heard coming from within the smoke. "You plan to do me in one of these days, don't you?" comes a voice from inside the smoke.

"What!? No! Why would you say that?" cries the transfer students voice. As the smoke finally clears, a glossy red heart attached to the bag, and a blond haired cutey, standing chest forward are at last noticeable. Suddenly the room fills with awe and ooh, "Florina, what's the meaning of this?" asks the teacher.

"Umm. Well," she takes a step, resembling somewhat of a sophisticated stance, "as you can see, I have successfully performed the-" before she is able to finish, a wave of disbelief is heard across the room. As if dealing the last blow, "Successfully, hmm?" finishes the professor. “So, blond-y, what’s yer name?”
    “Kenneth, ma’am. I see you want to ask me how this happened... Well, long story short, I was with her last night. Don’t know how I got in this bag, but I feel I’m going to be in here for a rather long time. So, I guess I’ll be joining in on her classes here. Unless,” he cocks his head back and takes a long breathe, “you know of a way to get me out of this god forsaken bag. I don’t enjoy this,” he turns to Florina, “luxury suite,” he coughs.
    With the wave of her hand the professor asks, “Does anyone remember the colors, shapes, and order of the colors that shined as she opened the bag?” Three hands in the front of the room, on each end and the middle, shoot up. She points to the closest one, “Tatiana, go ahead.” A brunette, with grey eyes stands up, “It was a red mist, followed by a red star, a blue quarter moon, and yellow heart shaped seal. Miss Langers,” and she takes her seat. “Very good. In such case, we shall,” the professor takes out a flask from within her desk drawer, and runs towards the door, “now you bumpkins stay put ya hear?” and with that, she shoots straight out of the room. 
    Some of the girls in the back stop chatting, and as if they all had the same idea, “Hey cutey!” and they start to giggle. At the sight of this, Tatiana looks away in disgust, ‘I could never stand those types.’ As Kenneth and Florina try to start a conversation, the professor comes flying into the room like a bullet train, “I’ve got it! This should do the trick.” She takes out two flasks, one with green liquid, and another with a blue liquid and turquoise embers bolting out of the flask. She pours the blue liquid over the bag, and hands the green liquid over to Kenneth, “Drink this.” He looks at it with disgust, then looks up at the professor with puppy eyes. Before Kenneth spouts a word, “Yes you do!” fires the professor.
Pika~sneeze!!!