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Fire, Ice, and Fighting

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The-Blades-slave:
Fire, Ice, and Fighting!
by ~The-Blades-Slave

  The smell of burning flesh traveled on the wind, slowly being washed away by the rain that poured from the thunderclouds above. A looming figure stood in the dark alleyway, a red and white sphere held in his hand, scorch marks covering the walls and charcoaled bodies beneath him.

 A black hood covered his head, wisp of silky black hair hanging out of it. He tucked the sphere into his trench coat, than removed another as the sound of revving engines and sirens echoed in the distance. This ball was different, blue and white with red marks on both sides. He pressed his thumb into the white button on the sphere, shooting a red beam onto the ground. Slowly a figure formed its skin brown and caramel, a large mustache traveling from his upper lip and silver spoon shining in his hands "Alakazam teleport." The Alakazam nodded at its master and with a short word of "Ala!" They vanished, an instant before several motorcycles pulled up.

  A woman with wavy blue hair removed her helmet, followed by several men, than they stepped into the dark alley as the rain poured down on them.  She looked in disgust at the charred remains of pokemon and humans alike, she slammed her fist into the wall and swore! "We are going to find this criminal or my name isn't Officer Jenny!" Her men moved to take care of the bodies as she replaced the helmet on her head and stepped onto the motorcycle, roaring away in an instant.

                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Birds chirped as the sun rose above the trees in the town of Kai Sung, waking a young man from his fitful slumber.  He wiped a hand across his sweat covered forehead, his icy blue hair plastered to his head from the sweat. He buried his head in his sheets, letting out a muffled scream that he had been holding for quite some time.  Then he slowly tossed his quilt to the side and began to get ready for the day. He peeled off his clothes, than quickly replaced them with black jeans, combat boots, and a white t-shirt. Then he grabbed a small belt off his nightstand, which held six small white and red spheres on them. Clipping the belt on, he walked out of his bedroom and into the hallway, stopping at a door at the end of the hall. He placed a fake smile on his face and opened the door, looking on at the figure lying sloppily in the bed. He sighed than walked up to the bed, placing his hand on his younger brothers' forehead and brushing away the red bangs. "Get up Daylin."

    With jolt the boy known as Daylin leaped from his bed, his glowing red eyes searching the room for intruders! "Tylan, it's just you. Don't scare me like that." Tylan let out a chuckle of mirth, the locked eyes with his younger brother, glowing red meeting misty white. "Get dressed Daylin, I have some errands to run." Daylins eyes drooped and he whispered "Tylan, why can't you ever take a day off anymore? Ever since you became one of the elite four of the Burmea region we haven't done anything together! You don't help me in battle like you use to or anything!" Tylan let out a sigh, his misty eyes dropping to the floor in shame. "Look, I'm sorry Daylin, but today you are coming with me. I have to help the police force in Kurmena. A murder took place there and they expect it was a member of an underground organization" Daylin pointed at the door. "Just get out Tylan, I'll meet you outside." Tylan looked downcast, but opened the door and slowly walked out of the bedroom and then out of the house.

  After several moments Daylin walked outside dressed in the usual red t-shirt, blue jeans with rips on the knees and black combat boots. Like Tylan he had a belt with several red spheres around his waist, but that is where the resemblance ended. Tylan was very pale, his skin always ice cold and his arms thin and spindly, his icy blue hair hanging into his misty white eyes as he stared at the ground. Daylin had a tan complexion, his feature clearly chiseled and his arms showing muscles. His hair was the color of blood and his eyes glowed like a demon.


  Tylan removed one of the spheres from his belt and clicked the round white button with his thumb, shooting a red beam onto the ground that slowly began to form into a shape. Once the shape was formed it resembled a short and bulky woman, a red dress with yellow markings trailing around the ground. Yellow hair trailed around its neck and its purple skin glowed in the sunlight. "Daylin, you ready?" Daylin nodded and Tylan continued "Jynx teleport." Jynx waved its hands in a flurry of motions and Tylan, Daylin, and Jynx itself began to ripple before completely disappearing!

                                                    ~~~~~~~


  Jynx had teleported Tylan and Daylin to the train station, where they had boarded a train to the town of Kurema. Once reaching Kurema they had stepped off the train only to be bombarded by trainers, looking to battle the ice master of the elite four. Jynx had promptly put them to sleep using sing,allowing Tylan and Daylin to reach the crime scene relatively unscathed.

  Tylan viewed the scene with interest, looking at the scorch marks on the walls and the chalk outlines of where the bodies had been. Tylan turned towards Daylin. "Why don't you go meet with that one girl that you like so much? A friend told me she would be in town today." Daylin smiled, his grin stretching from ear too ear. "Thanks bro, I'll catch ya later." and with that Daylin ran out of sight as Tylan lifted the yellow caution tape and stepped into the crime scene.

                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Daylin ran through the crowded streets of Kurema, his smile never faltering as he shoved people out of his way. He was just about to give up when he caught sight of a light fluttering dress that he knew belonged to her Gardevoir! He shoved a man out of his way and grabbed the thin arm of the girl in front of him!

She turned around, the sun catching on the glasses she wore, making her brilliant green eyes stand out even more. Her high pitched voice broke the air as she cried "Gardevoir psychic!" An elegant green and white pokemon whose body seemed to be made of a dress looked at Daylin, her eyes glowing as she channeled her powers and shot him into a brick wall!

  A gasp escaped the girls lips as she recognized Daylin and rushed to his side, her mocha brown hair tied back in a pony tail as she kneeled at his side. "Daylin, sorry, didn't recognize you there." Daylin groaned, his vision blurred as he spoke. "S'okay Lucy, I've had worse at the hands of Gyrados...."

  Lucy let out a tinkling laugh, helping Daylin to his feet before returning her Gardevoir to its poke-ball. "Lucy, your shoes are untied." Lucy glanced down at her pink tennis shoes, the worn out white laces hanging loosely on the ground. She bent down and quickly tied the laces in knots, brushing off her dusty blue jeans and smoothing out her pink top before smiling at Daylin. "Thanks, now we have some catching up to do....."

                                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Tylan looked around the dark alley, spotting three men and two women talking quietly. He approached, his foot steps catching the attention of the middle aged blonde women that seemed to be most respected. Tylan let a rare smile grace his lips as he bowed to her. "Hello champion Baylee." She laughd lightly, lifting the bottom of her thin black dress to bow to Tylan. "Hello to you as well Master Tylan." THe two looked at each other for a moment before erupting into laughter.

  Tylan hugged Baylee, burying his head in her silky blonde hair. "It's good to see you again Baylee." He whispered quietly, careful too watch the other. "You as well Tylan, I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances." Tylan nodded and released her, the scent of vanilla perfume floating lightly from his t-shirt now.

  She looked Tylan right in the eye, misty white meeting chocolate brown as she looked into his soul. He held her gaze, before whispering into her ear "What news do we have?" She glanced around before whispering back. "Five dead, there bodies burnt beyond recognition. We suspect it is them, we might have a le-" She was cut off as a loud explosion shook the area and Tylan threw himself over her thin body, shielding her from the falling Debris!

  Several pieces of stone fell around them, causing all the men and women to scatter in all directions! Tylan slowly lifted his head to see they had been surrounded b large boulders, stopping there escape! "Nice to see we caught both the champion and her boy toy the ice elite in our little trap!" Both Tylan and Baylees' heads shot up to see a man, clad in black standing atop the building.

  All three reached for for a poke-ball throwing them out at the same time! From Tylans poke-ball emerged a black creature with long glistening white claws, a red structure atops its head and a blood red feather by its ear! Baylees pokemon emerged seconds after, long and scaly like a sea serpent, the tip of its tail covered in multi-colored scales while the rest of its body was a pale creamy color! Them man atop the building threw out a creature that seemed to emerge straight from nightmares, its red eyes glowing and its purple skin seemingly made of poison, limbs stretched from the bottom half of it that supported it like legs while purple arm like things stretched from its side!

  The mans hand flew up, pointing at Daylins pokemon as he cried, "Gengar, Focus blast!" The Gengar drew its arm like limbs back, a red sphere beginning to circle within his hands before launching straight at Tylans pokemon, pulsing with power! "Weavile dodge!" Tylan cried and his Weavile shot into the air, the focus blast traveling into the ground below him and creating a large crater!

  "Weavile swords dance!" Weavile raised his hands and strange looking swords began to fly around him, boosting his confidence and strength! "Gengar stop him with a focus blast!" Gengar began preparing the red sphere again when Baylees voice split the air! "Milotic, Scald!" Her Milotic opened its mouth and steaming water shot from it, slamming into the backside of Gengar!

  Gengar cried out, his blast slamming into the ground uselessly! THe man opened his mouth to speak when Tylan cut him off! "Weavile finish this with Night Slash!" Weaviles' claws turned black, lengthening and rippling with power before Weavile shot forward, plunging his claws through Gengar! His arm came out the backside of Gengar, coated in purple blood!

  Gengar spasmed on Weaviles' arm a moment before falling still, its light breathing stopping! Weavile pulled his arm out, letting Gengar fall to the ground and a pool of blood slowly gathering around him! The man began to reach for another poke-ball but Tylan wouldn't allow that! "Weavile, stop him!" Weavile shot forward, his claws swiping deep into the mans stomach and spilling his entrails onto the floor! Weavile wiped its claws and then as the man tried to use the last of his strength to swing out Weavile Tylan shouted "Finish this!"

  Weavile dodged, swinging his claws forward and splitting the mans neck open, causing blood to spill onto the ground and the man to collapse! His eyes glazed over and Tylan sighed, he wished he didn't have to kill him.
                                                   
                                                   ~~~End scene~~~

  Okay, I know the grammar really sucks, and I have quite a few typos. If you can point them out, I'll try t fix it. I originally posted this story on DA and wanted constructive criticism, I got none. Please don't flame, I can't stop you but.......... This was done for my enjoyment alone.

Jerry:
Eh... the ending is kinda bad if you ask me. There were more ways to finish this that right off killing the man. It was actually a cheap solution if you asked me. I went over it, and passed some corrections.

One thing you might want to keep in mind is to keep one character's actions in a single paragraph. If it starts out with Daylin shouting, have his pokemon act in another paragraph. For story telling, do this instead of changing paragraphs on the basis of word count (I don't know if you did this, but I found quite some people doing this, so I'd say it anyway).

Something else which was over done was the exclamation marks at the end of narrative sentences. Those are mostly used when you are surprised, but as a story teller, you don't usually use those, unless it was really unexpected! Then, you get the full benefits of using exclamation marks.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G0xAp2Gx-aZI4448dDPTQT7bY1sKML-Cgr1yLwW0ZXY/edit

Another thing: Daylin seemed to be useless and without any relevance to the story... why include him? Unless of course, you have some sequel to it, or are planning to make it some series.

The-Blades-slave:
Welp, after screweing around with my computer for a minute, I got the link to open. I will amek the corrections. I have a bad habit of typos... Off to fix it! Also, Daylin plays a part, and it is a series, just wanted reviews on this chapter.

Edit: *LeFacepalm* I just realized you did the whole story.... I am going to go correct them now................

Jerry:
Lol, it was funny seeing you getting online, and offline and online again in several tabs/windows XD

Also, getting the 2 next chapters down as well, if you noticed it :P

The-Blades-slave:
I just noticed. I will go fix them XD thanks for the feedback. Daylin does paly a part, but it is a bit... later on. I just wanted him to be introduced. Now, up, up and away to fix them!

Also, thanks for pointing out the mistakes. I tend to miss my typos because... Well I wrote it, so sometimes it gets a bit difficult to notice, ya know?

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