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Creative Discussions => Fan Fiction & Writing => Topic started by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 03:01:14 AM

Title: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 03:01:14 AM
(Shards Pt. II)

In a night of calm and serenity, I clutch Layla Tightly. Her loving embrace was not enough to forget my Past. Kara was on my mind all the time, but do I regret it, no, not unless I forget her will I regret it. I started singing*,
 Believe, in dreams you love so much. I may not know much, but I will Die. I believe in Dreams x3 I believe, In you...

Then I laid down, in my dreariness fell into a Slumber. A state of mind fell upon me, so gentle and serene, I recognize the presence.
'Kara?'
"Leo, its me alright, My spirit is really here, the shard you gave me, Im glad you did, now we can still be together.'
I thought about hugging her, but I had a gut feeling I would only phase through her, so I didn't. Then, She changed the scenery, from a dark dreamworld, to a Shady forest, with small shafts of light penetrating the canopy. We were sitting on a tree branch, which was very comfortable, oddly enough. I could hear a trickling stream, its sound relaxed me so. She laid her hand atop mine, then curled it in her grasp. I was surprised, as I didn't think it would work.

Kara started the conversation with,
"I read the note you left me, I thought it was a sweet thing to do......I love you too, and well, Keith...He turned out to be a misunderstanding person. When I reunited with him, He said 'Why, in God's name, did you kill yourself, It was a Stupid thing to do!' my Response was, 'I Only did it so I could be with you.' except he cut me off halfway, 'I don't Care Why!!!' "
 At this point, She was in Tears, her body trembling. I slipped my hand from her grasp, and held her tight.
"I love you, and nothing can scathe that, You mean more to me than anything. I will do anything to protect you, as I care about you endlessly. I will keep you from all harm, Kara."
She looked up, and warmly smiled. My shirt was wet from her tears....
'Leo, Its time for you to go, but I will always be in your heart waiting for your return. Wake up.'

.... I was a little disappointed, yet happy all the same, I looked at my ring, and the shard shone an Emerald green,
"I love you, too Kara...."

------End------


*=Its a real song, If you know it, Sing/Hum along.


Please comment
As before, I will edit/add as necesessary
...
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: St. Jimmy on August 12, 2010, 03:07:05 AM
*Wipes tears from his eyes*
Beautiful
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 03:10:01 AM
Thank you, Its not as long as Pt I but its good.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 03:10:55 AM
St.Jimmy thanks for stealing wut I wrote >:(
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 03:13:40 AM
St. Jimmy actually asked for Moar! so I made Pt. II. I bet He Flipped out when he saw it..
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: Frenchfry on August 12, 2010, 03:28:42 AM
Hm... This is making me think that I might write another short story and post it here. Maybe this time peoples will actually reply to it. <.<
Anyways, good work. I'm not the kind of guy that will look at someone and tell them, "Great job!" and put two thumbs up, but exellent job, nonetheless.
Only, your formatting for the dialogue is pretty annoying. Dialogue is supposed to have a new line for each new speaker.
Ex:
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
"Lawl this is example text," speaker 1 said.
"OMG nu wai! Does we get paid?" speaker 2 asked
"YOU MUST DIE!!!!1!" Gannon and his minions shouted
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory

liek that.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 03:33:23 AM
 :D Tankyou.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 03:36:43 AM
Hm... This is making me think that I might write another short story and post it here. Maybe this time peoples will actually reply to it. <.<
Anyways, good work. I'm not the kind of guy that will look at someone and tell them, "Great job!" and put two thumbs up, but exellent job, nonetheless.
Only, your formatting for the dialogue is pretty annoying. Dialogue is supposed to have a new line for each new speaker.
Ex:
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
"Lawl this is example text," speaker 1 said.
"OMG nu wai! Does we get paid?" speaker 2 asked
"YOU MUST DIE!!!!1!" Gannon and his minions shouted
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory

liek that.

Hold on...
*Edits*


Liek Dat?
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: Frenchfry on August 12, 2010, 03:37:52 AM
Hm... This is making me think that I might write another short story and post it here. Maybe this time peoples will actually reply to it. <.<
Anyways, good work. I'm not the kind of guy that will look at someone and tell them, "Great job!" and put two thumbs up, but exellent job, nonetheless.
Only, your formatting for the dialogue is pretty annoying. Dialogue is supposed to have a new line for each new speaker.
Ex:
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
"Lawl this is example text," speaker 1 said.
"OMG nu wai! Does we get paid?" speaker 2 asked
"YOU MUST DIE!!!!1!" Gannon and his minions shouted
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory
storystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystorystory

liek that.

Hold on...
*Edits*


Liek Dat?
yaliekthatkthnx
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: St. Jimmy on August 12, 2010, 03:38:18 AM
St.Jimmy thanks for stealing wut I wrote >:(
You wrote that before??? I'm sorry dude I didn't notice you want me to take it down?
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 03:42:01 AM
No.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: St. Jimmy on August 12, 2010, 03:43:59 AM
Okay.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 03:45:16 AM
Ok.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 03:46:09 AM
St. Jimmy actually asked for Moar! so I made Pt. II. I bet He Flipped out when he saw it..

Well Jimmy??^^
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 03:48:22 AM
Wow unbreakable made me emo >:o I shall neva forgive you for what you have done!
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: St. Jimmy on August 12, 2010, 03:51:02 AM
Moar! I lieks it almost as much as shinneh charizard! (I lieks him real good)
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 03:52:43 AM
Wow unbreakable made me emo >:o I shall neva forgive you for what you have done!

....I dont need to have my ASCII Pet on EVERY board, do I?

Thanks Jimmy.

I may not make another for a while, Definitely not tonight.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: St. Jimmy on August 12, 2010, 03:53:24 AM
Ok I can wait
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 03:54:39 AM
Wow unbreakable made me emo >:o I shall neva forgive you for what you have done!

....I dont need to have my ASCII Pet on EVERY board, do I?

Thanks Jimmy.

I may not make another for a while, Definitely not tonight.
ASCII? Is that like Amazin' Super Controler Iknowright? Iizlucky.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 03:57:28 AM
No, ASCII is:

 /\
/__\ <<Thats as basic as it gets
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 03:58:57 AM
I simply dont get it.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 12:31:06 PM
Ok, NVM then Drbg..

A couple things:
1: I has an idea for Pt. III, but no idea when I'll get time for it
2: If anyone is a Good Manga/Anime style artist, I could use one. (I need someone good in Grayscale, and Full Color.)
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 02:09:54 PM
I guess im a good artist...but I cant do it sorry.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 02:14:48 PM
Ok... V_V
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 02:20:59 PM
Its not you...Its ME...calm down!
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 02:35:14 PM
Im not the one Screaming >.<
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 02:40:39 PM
Seriously stop! Im sorry I just cant be your artist-Dont hit me  :'(
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 08:18:10 PM
I wasn't going to hit you O_o...

Its ok, I understand.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 08:19:46 PM
omg...srry just stop dont...put down that Knife!
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 08:22:20 PM
...I dont use Knives, Im not holding a weapon... Im not going to hurt you.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 08:23:54 PM
-An hour later- It was just a dream....back to sleep.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: DarK_SouL on August 12, 2010, 08:24:39 PM
(http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080522160760/naruto/images/thumb/e/ee/Gaarapart2.jpg/140px-Gaarapart2.jpg) (http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100407170603/souleater/images/thumb/6/6c/SoulEaterEvans.png/300px-SoulEaterEvans.png) (http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100717205154/kingdomhearts/images/thumb/2/25/Roxas_-_Oathkeeper_and_Oblivion.png/250px-Roxas_-_Oathkeeper_and_Oblivion.png)

I drew these three Unbreakable, are they good enough...

LOL, sorry I couldn't help it, oh and these are not mine
Gaara from Naruto.
Soul from Soul Eater.
Roxas from KH.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 08:26:34 PM
....
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 08:26:41 PM
I stoped watching soul eater at liek ep 10 Kid Death is Pimpin with this guns-I have the kingdom hearts game for ds-Gara-Kazekaga :D
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: xhizor8201 on August 12, 2010, 08:43:09 PM
(http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080522160760/naruto/images/thumb/e/ee/Gaarapart2.jpg/140px-Gaarapart2.jpg) (http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100407170603/souleater/images/thumb/6/6c/SoulEaterEvans.png/300px-SoulEaterEvans.png) (http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100717205154/kingdomhearts/images/thumb/2/25/Roxas_-_Oathkeeper_and_Oblivion.png/250px-Roxas_-_Oathkeeper_and_Oblivion.png)

I drew these three Unbreakable, are they good enough...

LOL, sorry I couldn't help it, oh and these are not mine
Gaara from Naruto.
Soul from Soul Eater.
Roxas from KH.
naruto:great show, KH: great game, dont know about the other one though
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 08:44:32 PM
Xhizor~guy that likes to copy me  ;D
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: xhizor8201 on August 12, 2010, 08:47:19 PM
Oh yeah, i copied your liking naruto and playing kingdom hearts. Quit trying to turn things back on me. Hey people just to prove to you that he copies me, go to the RP, a nem life (oocc) topic.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 08:48:41 PM
Aww~now he is trying to quickly regain his hounor like a warrior. Well this isent the thread to argue lets spam another one ok?
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 08:51:26 PM
Back on topic please...*ACSII Pet Barks*...I Thinks you need a name, How about Zero? *Zero grunts softly* Zero it is.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 08:52:27 PM
Lol  ;D ;D
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 08:53:39 PM
Not kidding, Zero will get you.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 08:54:46 PM
*Backs up* O.o
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: Jerry on August 12, 2010, 08:55:49 PM
Nice follow up. Kara has an interesting character I may say... hmm... I'll see more into it in the next part I guess.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: xhizor8201 on August 12, 2010, 08:58:39 PM
why you gotta go around in different topics mentining stuff about it. Why wont you just straight up say it to me :D
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 08:59:57 PM
That is actually you *Lol's*
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: xhizor8201 on August 12, 2010, 09:01:34 PM
That made no sense whatsoever.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 09:02:13 PM
I think we have to stay on topic here. I mean all this hatin' all over some damn rp?-5 secs later- OMG DRBG BEEN SHOT!
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: xhizor8201 on August 12, 2010, 09:05:10 PM
Wtf, you were shot.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: UnationConsideration on August 12, 2010, 09:06:54 PM
No. Ok can we let this little childish fight behind us now?
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: xhizor8201 on August 12, 2010, 09:09:19 PM
Like i said, i dont hold things against people.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 09:49:16 PM
O.O' ..... Anyways......

Nice follow up. Kara has an interesting character I may say... hmm... I'll see more into it in the next part I guess.

Thank you, and something Like that, and also....*SPOILER* [Spoiler]Layla will become more.....important as well.[/spoiler]

Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 10:18:27 PM
I will try to get Pt. III up tonight, if I cant, Probly Saturday
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: Naoko on August 13, 2010, 12:42:16 AM
Even if it's a little shorter, this was still very good. I can't wait to read part three. :)
Also, I can try to help with your artist request. I'll PM or link you a sample later, only because I don't have one right now.
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 13, 2010, 12:48:39 AM
Even if it's a little shorter, this was still very good. I can't wait to read part three. :)
Also, I can try to help with your artist request. I'll PM or link you a sample later, only because I don't have one right now.
Thank you for liking it, and offering to Draw it. I will mention you as the artist when it goes big.

I have Part III in my head, but havent posted/Typed yet, so Im guessing it will be longer, but maybe...
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: Frenchfry on August 22, 2010, 09:49:53 PM
I am currently inputting a request that the next installment may contain the spontaneous combustion and/or detonation of a large flammable item.

In tartspeek:
blow sumting up plzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: LeoReborn on August 22, 2010, 11:37:53 PM
I am currently inputting a request that the next installment may contain the spontaneous combustion and/or detonation of a large flammable item.

In tartspeek:
blow sumting up plzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Actually I made Shards III after you left. Please read.

Kara, Layla, and Leo Died in an Explosion
Title: Re: A Shards Soul
Post by: Frenchfry on August 22, 2010, 11:45:05 PM
...
Died in an Explosion
...
...Yes.