Pokemon Universe MMORPG
Creative Discussions => Fan Fiction & Writing => Topic started by: LeoReborn on September 07, 2010, 03:42:37 AM
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(In case you can't tell, This is Leo's POV)
I met Kara today, She was kind of....hard to understand. Looking back at what was said, I am glad she welcomed me. I get this feeling from her, like there's a darkness, dormant for now, yet could arise at any point. I wouldn't say evil, she is very fragile emotionally, but her heart is strong, I can feel it.
I wondered if I could see her, the words she spoke of her not wanting to see me slipped away. I knew where she lived, I was told before I even met her. I rang the bell, and thought how odd it was that it was a manual bell, not an electric one. I heard steps then the squeal of a knob turning. The line of sight clear, Kara wasn't anywhere. Her mother appeared in her stead.
"Hi, is Kara here?"
"No, she left."
"Can you tell me where I can find her?"
Her eyes sparkled with remorse,
She said she was going to Makinovai Cliff, The only reason people go there is to commit suicide."
My heart sank, Kara's Fate starting to burn my thoughts.
"Im going after her! She has to live..."
Without a moment's hesitance, I sprinted. I remembered passing by Makinovai Cliff on my way in.
It took roughly a half-hour, but my act was not in vain. Kara stood at the cliffside, praying for everyone to forget her. As I came within inches, she began her final step. As she began to drop, I grabbed her arm.
Her plummet ceased, and she turned to face me.
"Why are you here? I told you to let me be!"
"I had to, not just me, but your mother too, would have eternal sorrow, had I let you do this. You deserve to live, for a cure to this darkness."
Her mood eased, Her lips formed a warm smile.
"Thank you, Leo, maybe there is a cure. I just never tried looking"
She placed her hand tenderly onto my face. Then we embraced once more.
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Oh, Unbreakable... you really must learn not to rush your story. A whole lot happened, and you went in to very little detail about it. This problemo of yours is actually getting worse with time.
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Hm...
It's good yes.
Fry, descriptive writing is a type of writing. Coran's type here seems to be more composed of dialogues and more 'narrative', I mean, some details are not introduced by this way of writing.
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Fry, descriptive writing is a type of writing. Coran's type here seems to be more composed of dialogues and more 'narrative', I mean, some details are not introduced by this way of writing.
Yeah, I get that, but... I hardly even know what's going on sometimes.
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Uh.. Its more about the actual story than detail for me, If I actually keep going with this (IE: Edits) Ill add detail