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Author Topic: An Adventure in Space (Part 2 of 2)  (Read 5611 times)

Offline Jerry

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An Adventure in Space (Part 2 of 2)
« on: September 09, 2010, 08:07:34 PM »
Ok, so you'll discover who the narrator is... if you can guess it that is ;D

~~~~~~

    Once again, the feeling of loneliness crept over me. This time, I didn't have my parents close to me,
nobody to cheer me up. I passed by the giant planets again, clinging to my memory in a desperate
attempt to bring my parents back, trying to think good thoughts, trying to feel happy again just by
looking at the planets. All were in vain; I simply could not forget what had just happened to me. The
dream I had a some time ago turned into the worst nightmare I had ever had. As I let myself go, I got
further from my parents, further from the dreams, but the sorrow that filled my heart would not go
away. In all quietness, I closed my eyes. Cold slowly engulfed me and entered my body. I could still
remember the good times I had spent with my parents at home, their wise teachings about the universe,
and started to wonder why it had all happened to me and my parents. With those thoughts, my heart
hardened and became bitter towards this cruel fate, and I slowly fell into a deep sleep.

    I was woken up by a stranger. The space around me was still as cold, and I did not want to talk to
anybody. The 'wayfarer' as he called himself asked me why I was not replying to him. I stayed solemn,
so he started telling about the adventures he had had as wayfarer in space. He narrated how he started
as a young enthusiastic adventurer, how he wanted to get to know new areas, make new discoveries. He
mentioned that the most beautiful thing he had ever seen was a giant 'supernova'. He explained that this
is a rare occasion when a particular star dies and bursts into a spectacular cloud of multicoloured gas.
The visitor then laughed and said that he had been fortunate to be very far away from that blast, for he
would otherwise not be here to tell the tale. He noticed the sudden sorrow on my face and seemed to be
able to read my thoughts.

    With a soothing voice, he said that he was deeply sorry, but that I should not be in such a state. He
told me that life had its vicissitudes that we cannot fight and that my parents had given their lives for
me. He convinced me that my parents would not be happy to see me in such a condition and asked me
to show him that their sacrifice was not vain. Upon those words, my heart warmed, and the ice isolating
it from the universe started to melt. “Look!” he exclaimed. In front of us lay a splendid scene.
Apparently, a star had died some time ago, and the gas that had remained around it was shining. It
announced the birth of a new star, the wayfarer explained. For the time being, the gases would remain
that way, and he said that, amazingly, it formed a legendary figure. He told me that he had once heard a
story of a bird which could be born again from its ashes, and that bird was called 'phoenix'. As I
contemplated the beauty before my eyes, I was speechless.

    For a long time, I accompanied the wayfarer across space, discovering even more and learning a lot
from him; he eventually became my best friend. One day, he told me that he was looking for a
particular planet where strange creatures with immense knowledge lived. It was his last will as
wayfarer to visit that planet named Earth. As he talked to me, he showed it to me. It was indeed a
beautiful planet, of a deep blue colour and partially covered with what seemed like a bright green
velvet. He told me that it is very likely that he will never be able to come back again, and made me
promise that I will continue exploring space. We parted and I watched him go. As he approached Earth,
he started to glow, as if his soul was shining. Slowly, his body dissolved, into countless glowing pieces
like those of a shooting star. Finally he disappeared, his wish fulfilled.

    I was happy to have met the wayfarer. It was my turn now, my turn to take his title of wayfarer and
spread all the knowledge that I had to the ones I would meet. I will not fail in my duty of wayfarer nor
fail in my promise. I realised the real purpose of life, why sometimes it can be harsh, but at other times
it is very generous. We need only to open our hands and accept the gift offered to us. I just could not let
sorrow prevail over me, not after all the trials I had gone through. Everything has its purpose, and, like
the phoenix, I will rise from the ashes!

[~1600 words total Part 1 & 2]

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, that's it! Thanks for reading through :)

EDIT: Sorry, I forgot to separate my paragraphs to make it more readable :-[
« Last Edit: September 09, 2010, 08:44:27 PM by Jerry »
No one can go back and change a bad beginning; but anyone can start now and create a successful ending.
If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it. If it cannot be solved what is the use of worrying?

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Offline Pubbles

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Re: An Adventure in Space (Part 2 of 2)
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2010, 08:34:00 PM »
Nice, very nice.

I still have no idea who he's supposed to be, or she, I suppose. It doesn't matter though, it seems like a person I'd like to hear more about.

If there's more (or you think of more) definitely get it up here. We'll be thankful.

-Pubbs
... ... ... Shh ... ... ... The walls have feet ... ... ...

Offline Declan_23

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Re: An Adventure in Space (Part 2 of 2)
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2010, 08:36:35 PM »
Woah, my mind is blown :P
I really like it, although I'm still confused as to who he is.
Was the wayfarer God?

Offline Jerry

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Re: An Adventure in Space (Part 2 of 2)
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2010, 08:39:06 PM »
Lol, okay, I'll give it away.

The narrator is a chunk of rock... once thrown in space is know as an asteroid. :P

Sorry, this piece of mine was fiction and as such, I decided to 'animate' the piece of rock. :)

I'll think about a possible suite to the story, but not now. My exams will start on 13th of Oct and end on the 19th of Nov. So... until then...

Cheers! :)
No one can go back and change a bad beginning; but anyone can start now and create a successful ending.
If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it. If it cannot be solved what is the use of worrying?

Currently playing Pokemon XY/ORAS/Shuffle and Clash of Clans and testing out PokemonRevolutionOnline and Dragonmon Hunter....
Also, forum notification emails are not getting in my inbox... again...

Offline Frenchfry

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Re: An Adventure in Space (Part 2 of 2)
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2010, 09:04:09 PM »
The narrator is a chunk of rock
JESUS!

Offline Jerry

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Re: An Adventure in Space (Part 2 of 2)
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2010, 09:05:34 PM »
Lol, if you wish to call it Jesus... it's up to you :P
No one can go back and change a bad beginning; but anyone can start now and create a successful ending.
If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it. If it cannot be solved what is the use of worrying?

Currently playing Pokemon XY/ORAS/Shuffle and Clash of Clans and testing out PokemonRevolutionOnline and Dragonmon Hunter....
Also, forum notification emails are not getting in my inbox... again...

Offline Pubbles

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Re: An Adventure in Space (Part 2 of 2)
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2010, 06:36:19 PM »
To be honest, I didn't even think in terms of it being an "it" rather than a "he or she"... Oh well, can't win 'em all...

I do think you rushed the ending and wrap-up though, this could have been drawn out to a pretty decent size "short story"... You said you entered it into a contest?

If you can double check the rules of that contest to see if you can re-submit a piece to another contest if it doesn't win first place, you could re-work it into a longer piece of work and submit it to some of the other Sci-Fi writing contests.

There are dozens each year, for anywhere from no money (but publication in a magazine/Book and free copies of it) to thousands of dollars. I'd venture to say you'd have a good shot at it.

-Pubbs
... ... ... Shh ... ... ... The walls have feet ... ... ...

Offline Jerry

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Re: An Adventure in Space (Part 2 of 2)
« Reply #7 on: September 13, 2010, 06:40:00 PM »
Thanks. I'm puzzled for the competition though... my 'category of writing' falls in 'Class A' that is 17-18 years old. But the results came in and said that there were no entries at all for Class A in my country. I know there have been mine and friends of mine, plus many more I'm sure of. I really don't know what happened... :(

And for the last part, maybe I rushed it at that time. I know it was getting quite late at night :P. I'll go through it again after my exams to please you :D
No one can go back and change a bad beginning; but anyone can start now and create a successful ending.
If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it. If it cannot be solved what is the use of worrying?

Currently playing Pokemon XY/ORAS/Shuffle and Clash of Clans and testing out PokemonRevolutionOnline and Dragonmon Hunter....
Also, forum notification emails are not getting in my inbox... again...

Offline Pubbles

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Re: An Adventure in Space (Part 2 of 2)
« Reply #8 on: September 13, 2010, 07:28:07 PM »
Haha! I love it.

Don't push it on my account... But I seriously think you could enter and have a great chance of winning a lot of the contests I know of. Not sure how many are open to "all countries" but it shouldn't be too hard to find out if you look.

The Writer's Guide (2010) has a great index of contests, requirements and information.

-Pubbs
... ... ... Shh ... ... ... The walls have feet ... ... ...

Offline Jerry

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Re: An Adventure in Space (Part 2 of 2)
« Reply #9 on: September 13, 2010, 07:38:25 PM »
Thank you, I'll look into it when I'll have the time and the inspiration to write :)
No one can go back and change a bad beginning; but anyone can start now and create a successful ending.
If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it. If it cannot be solved what is the use of worrying?

Currently playing Pokemon XY/ORAS/Shuffle and Clash of Clans and testing out PokemonRevolutionOnline and Dragonmon Hunter....
Also, forum notification emails are not getting in my inbox... again...