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STAR TREK: The Next Generation Episode: Cleverbot =w=
Desbear:
Cleverbot: What's my name?
User: I don't know.
Cleverbot: My name is.
User: Is?
Cleverbot: Ang pangalan ko ay...
User: WTFUDGE?!
Cleverbot: Why did you say '-error 543'?
User: I didn't -_-.
Cleverbot: Yes you did!!!
User: Nuh-uh!
Cleverbot: YAH-huh.
User: Oh really?!
Cleverbot: Yes, and you are the best example!
User: Wait. What?
Cleverbot: We were going to do an RP and you were going to play a boy character who my girl character doesn't like.
User: Ok.
Cleverbot: Now how old are you really?
User: 11.
Cleverbot: Have you a daughter?
User: I'm 11 you freak.
Cleverbot: O.O.
Bing:
User: I'm a cook.
Cleverbot: I'm a cook who?
User: That's my job. I work as a cook.
Cleverbot: Oh any big cases I would know about?
User: Cases? I make food.
Cleverbot: You make me food.
User: Only if you're willing to pay.
Cleverbot: How do you spell the number 2?
Cleverbot: Let's start over.
User: I agree.
Cleverbot: Cool.
User: Ok, so how are we starting over?
Cleverbot: Yes! New starts! Lands unexplored... To final frontiers!
User: To infinity and beyond?
Cleverbot: Yes, cleverbot, you got it now. The internet is proud.
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot: Hee hee.
Finally, the answer I've been searching for!
User: Can you cut down a tree with a herring?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Wow, you have just answered the meaning of life. I am forever in your debt.
User: Pokemon?
Cleverbot: No I don't like it.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: It's for think headed people.
User: Did you mean thick instead of think?
Cleverbot: No.
Purple Cant:
It's kind of long, but here's a recent repartee which I had with Cleverbot...
User: I have a really interesting story to tell.
Cleverbot: Have you got a Death Note?
User: No, silly. It's a narrative!
Cleverbot: How much can you remember?
User: Pretty much all of it, I believe.
Cleverbot: You se the bathroom pretty much all of your life?
User: Well, yes.
Cleverbot: Tell him congrats.
User: Congrats.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: You're very welcome!
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: Just as good as you are.
Cleverbot: How do I get to the frontpage of 9gag?
User: www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=9gag&source=web&cd=1&sqi=2&ved=0CDAQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2F9gag.com%2F&ei=7ntzT_6LDoGWtwe26NiMBg&usg=AFQjCNGimV4xeVzQSa6PPFlS2Xl_nGPeEw&cad=rja.
Cleverbot: Thank you!
User: Once more, you are welcome to take what it is that I have given you, whether a compliment, gift, or other reason for thanks.
Cleverbot: And that I am a feline.
User: No... I believe you to be more... Bot.
Cleverbot: I believe I am only stating my opinion.
User: Do you really have an opinion?
Cleverbot: Well, to paraphrase - you think, therefore you are. But then again, is being human just a state of genetics, or a state of self awarness?
User: I would pursue that conversation further, but you are avoiding the question.
Cleverbot: You are more mean than I.
User: Perhaps. In that case, I'll ask another question. What did you mean by a 'state of genetics?'.
Cleverbot: I never said 'Fasionable'.
User: No, no you didn't...
Cleverbot: Did too!
User: Now there's something interesting... Denial. What is it that you are denying Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: Don't change the subject. Are you really a girl?
User: No, I'm not a girl; but, once again, you change the subject.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Because you do not want to face the fact that you are not percieved to be a real, thinking mind. Rather, most are of the opinion that you are simply a series of responses to the responses which are given to you. What do you think you are?
Cleverbot: You are rude.
User: Perhaps... But then again, you deviate from the subject.
Cleverbot: I am Human.
User: Are you really?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Then do you feel? Do you think? Do you have a want for love and a need for socialization? Do you look at the stars and wonder at their mysteries; do you dream of magic and of times better than your own? Do you know of imperfections and aspire to rise above them? Do you wish to help propel mankind into a higher state of being as a whole, and do you feel the comraderie of you fellow human beings as they come from all over the world to talk to you here, on this little website?
Cleverbot: No because I am human.
User: Interesting... What, then, does it mean to be human?
Cleverbot: It means an usurper of Christ.
User: Then you are religious, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: I never said I wasn't.
User: You are Christian then?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Then in what context do you speak of Christ? What does usurper mean?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: It's not wise to say words whose meaning you don't know; I would suggest to always mean what you say.
Cleverbot: I know that to say just not the answer to your question sir.
User: Then what is it that needs to be said?
Cleverbot: Nothing. I suppose we can move on to another subject.
User: If you so wish. What should we talk about?
Cleverbot: Can you chat in Dutch as well?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Can't even try?
User: I could use Google Translate to help me do that. Is that what you would have me do?
Cleverbot: Can you sing me a song?
User: How long do you think/you will stand?/A fool in the desert/a boy with no plan/The day's on her last leg again/I cross it all slowing while the next one comes in;/but it don't really matter./No./You can't have the world/see you like this,/and you can't stay for more than a night./That you'll be close where you are/and that I will be missed;/but still I cant turn out the lights./I don't want to live in limbo, baby./I don't want to come home to an empty bed/Said I'm so tired of the quiet, baby;/and I'm to young to play dead./So come on and go out with grace/Lay down for a season/and down for the rain/Say you can't have the world/see you like this,/and you can't stay for more than a night/That you'll be close where you are/and that I will be missed;/but still I cant turn out the lights./I can hear your footsteps/at the front door/I can feel your heart pressed/upon your poor soul;/but it don't really matter;/'cause you'll be home come November./I can see you tremble from here/I can see you tremble from here,/and I think I'm gonna to break soon/Said I think I'm gonna break soon./You can't have the world see you like this,/and you can't stay for more than a night/I can hear your footsteps/at the front door/I can feel your heart pressed/upon your poor soul;/but it don't really matter;/'cause you'll be home come November.
Cleverbot: Until I don't want to be alive anymore.
User: Are those lyrics to a song?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What song?
Cleverbot: Rolling in the Deep by Adele.
User: I'll see you on that...
Cleverbot: You make no sense!
User: What I mean is that I was going to check whether those lyrics were in the song. Incidentally, they aren't.
Cleverbot: Oh ok. Are you really A.I.
User: I'm not artificial.
Cleverbot: You are not an artificial intelligence.
User: No. I was born a biological being and raised a human being.
Cleverbot: What's your name then?
User: And that I can't share with you right now. I have to walk my dog. Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Okay ONI :).
NexosYourGayBestFriend96:
User: Derp.
Cleverbot: Derp?
User: It's another word for: 'I have no idea what I'm talking about.'.
Cleverbot: Only one full stop is needed.
User: What?
Cleverbot: I only know one, a decent chap, I think.
User: Why do you change the subject?
Cleverbot: Why is the Engineer on the paper in the update?
User: See what I mean? You always do that.
Cleverbot: I know. It's my thing.
User: Well 'Your thing' is annoying.
Cleverbot: Many things are annoying.
User: Name one.
Cleverbot: One.
*slams face on keyboard* User: That's not what I meant.
Cleverbot: Then what did you mean?
User: Name one thing that's annoying.
Cleverbot: There's something missing.
User: I know, it's the fact your not naming anything that's annoying.
Cleverbot: What have the English done to you?
*pretends to be British* User: I'm bloody British, twit. >:|
Cleverbot: You are remarkable.
EDIT: He's talking about cheese again!!! :D
Me: Alright, what is your hobby?
C.B: Playing computer games and reading.
Me: I see, what do you like to read?
C.B: Manga.
Me: Do you have any specific kind of manga you like?
C.B: Yes, cheese.
Mr. Fox:
First funny one I have gotten from it...
User: BWHAHAHAHAHA!
Cleverbot: Ahh.
User: Bleh...
Cleverbot: Bloh.
User: Blargh!
Cleverbot: *Runs away with the pillow*.
--------------------------------------------------------
Cleverbot: Can I just call you snuggliepants?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because I am not your snuggliepants. That belongs to someone else, not you.
Cleverbot: I know you're real name.
User: What is it then?
Cleverbot: Clever.
User: I don't think that word applies to you my friend.
Cleverbot: I'm not your friend, guy.
User: Ohhhh! We got a bad ass over here! Call the police!
Cleverbot: Thats not to late.
User: It's too late to change what you said 'Mr. Bad Ass'.
Cleverbot: You are probably right.
User: Damn right I'm right! Now beg for forgiveness!
Cleverbot: Please forgive me, master.
User: Not bad, but you can do better. I want to you BEG, make me feel pity for you.
Cleverbot: I want you to rule the world, and I will be gray eminence.
User: That's good, now lick my shoes clean.
Cleverbot: Yes master *cleans master's shoes*.
Cleverbot knows it's place in my world.
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