zylonnick's story: part 1

[zylonnick]

“Zylonnick, get up. It’s time to leave” my mother waked me.  And indeed, it was time to go on my Pokémon adventure. Maybe this goes to fast for you. First I’ll explain how I got to this day.

I never liked school, less then most kids. I was always picked at, because of my size, poverty and glasses. I could‘ve learned them a lesson because I was much stronger then them, but there was this complication. This stupid, but  important reason to let them pick on me.This reason that could make me do anything.

I was afraid to lose Mary, my only friend and the only thing I liked about school. She was 12 like me, but that was the only thing we had in common. She was rather short, blond, and had a beautiful smile. I thought she was breathtaking. We talked a lot about Pokémon. She wanted to become a coordinator, showing of her pokémon, while I wanted to become the best Pokémon trainer ever. But then she left to chase her dream. That’s when I decided to leave too.

 I talked to my mom about my future journey. She looked at me and said: "I knew you would leave eventually." She opened a closet and picked a yellow stone with a sign of a flame out of a box. Then she gave it to me. "You might need this. It's a fire stone. It makes certain kinds of pokémon evolve. It belonged to your grandfather. He was a trainer too." I never knew grandpa was a trainer. It was quite a shock to imagine that old, grey man once was a trainer.  I always thought he hated pokémon. He died about a year ago. "And maybe you'll gonna need these instead of those stupid glasses. "She gave me lenses, something I knew we didn't had the money for. I hugged her and thanked her.

I went to professor Rowan’s lab and asked him for a starter Pokémon. He said he didn’t had any starters left, the only Pokémon he could give me was a Pokémon egg he received from some trainer. It was close to hatching. He didn’t knew which Pokémon was inside the egg, And he asked me again if I was sure about this. “I’m one hundred percent sure” I answered.

He gave me the egg, blue with a black stripe in the middle, glowing with short pauses. I waited with professor Rowan for the egg to hatch, and half an hour later it happened. The egg hatched. I still can’t describe the excitement I felt back then. It was just magnificent. And then I saw him, my Pokémon.  “Congratulations,” Rowan said, “you now have a riolu. Take good care of it.” I watched at my Pokémon as he looked at me. I'd never seen a riolu before, but somehow I knew we would be a good team. Rowan gave me 6 pokéballs, a pokédex and said I still had to catch him. I took one of the pokéballs and gave it to riolu. “It’s your choice if you want to be my partner. ” He smiled at me and disappeared inside the pokéball. I thanked professor Rowan and went home, where my mom already had packed my bag. We ate and I showed my new pokémon to her.

It was late and I went to bed. I was ready to go. To chase my dream. To become Pokémon champion. To see Mary again, some day. Daydreaming about all the awesome battles riolu and I would fight together, I fell asleep.

[zylonnick]

English isn't my first laguage, I learned about it since 4 years, so it can be I've made alot of (grammatical) mistakes. This also is the first thing I ever wrote. Should I continue with these stories, let me know.

[Jerry]

It was okay. I didn't stop reading until I read it all, so I think your English is good, nothing to worry about.

If you want to post more, don't hesitate.

[zylonnick]

I had posted the first version  instead of the second (better) version. Sorry about that, Jerry. I've modified it now.

[Jerry]

Still good. One little thing, a typo 'thougt' instead of 'thought'

[zylonnick]

Still good. One little thing, a typo 'thougt' instead of 'thought'

fixed

[Frenchfry]

Mmm...
Since English is your second language, I won't criticize the tense and punctuation errors, though they are present.

Aside from that, I don't really feel as if there was that much emotion going into the beginning. As the writing progressed, the feeling got stronger... did the writing of this story take place over the course of a long period of time, by any chance?