Creative Discussions > Fan Fiction & Writing
New World Warriors
Curtoa:
Yay! I was truthfully a little nervous when I thought Jerry was the only one ;D . I will make the changes pointed out, hopefully my grammar isn't too bothersome I started about eight or so years ago so the writing style defiantly changes and some parts that I haven’t reworked are pretty rough. I will try when I write new parts to write more detail, 'Chapter' 3 is coming soon and it has a little bit more detail about the HQ.
zorocario:
i like it. its run smoothly hardly any mistake accept the ones Jerry found.
Curtoa:
Alright Chapter 3 this one is going to be rough partly becuase I haven't been over it as far as grammer and flow since it was Written. Enjoy!
Chapter Three
New World Warriors HQ
“Great speech, General Ray, but the New World Warriors are just a bunch of outlaws living in a forest. Lord Falrik was a fool, I sent him out here to lure the Black Archer out but low and behold I find you out here with the rift raft, and I thought you had standers, Ray.” A voice floated out of the surrounding trees that, was everything but caring.
“I know you well enough to know when you’re lying, you would never sacrifice a loyal lord’s life without your own coffers getting larger. I also know that Lord Falrik was one of the few lords who supported you in the beginning as you began your descendent into madness.” Ray shouted back.
“Now, now there’s no need to get nasty, Ray! Just surrender and I might let some of these renegades go.”
Ray decided not to answer. Instead he snuck over to Scar, commanding him to take as many people as possible back to Base Camp. As an added thought he told him to pick up Av on the way.
“Ray do not make me kill you!” The king yelled “Surrender or I will kill you!” He then turned to his appointed leader of the army and said, “Take as many as you can. Dead or alive I care naught.”
The commander placed his hand to his chest and bowed “At once sire” the commander said as he singled his forces to move in. Soon there were confused voices coming from forest surrounding the glade.
“There’s no one here.”
“They must have fled.”
Meanwhile, Ray was running with the surviving men. To Sher, it looked like a retreat, but as soon as he thought they were home free Scar, took a sharp left into a rather nasty thicket of thorns. Ray quickly turned right. Sher decided to follow Scar for he had no ability to help Ray.
He took a big breath then braced himself for the stinging that would occur when he hit the thorn thicket, but the pain never came. Sher opened his eyes and looked around. Everywhere he looked he saw men, women, and children walking around, talking and simply living their lives. When he looked back instead of a thicket of thorns there was a beautifully made door, disguised as a thicket of thorns. As he looked around, he saw a huge wall surrounding the town. Every once in awhile, his eyes landed on a tower disguised as a tree with guards atop them. He then looked at the town’s buildings some were made with palms and looked like they belonged on a tropical beach and the people in those homes had sun kissed skin, his eyes fell on sturdy rock homes and noticed people moving swiftly though the light near them were pale, and then there were homes like his back in Lendom City with people who looked like his family tall, eyes of black and blond headed mixed with another race of people who were tall as well but had eyes of green and red hair. Sher was amazed that a town of so many nations could existent this far in the forest. He wondered why Ray did not tell him about this place; and then joy rushed in his heart for in a dark corner he saw people dressed in all black clothing living in tepees. Long thought that their race was dead the Originals the first of all races to rise up and build a nation they were mighty and strong once; and for the first time Sher felt hope burning in his heart for the Originals had joined the war.
* * * * * * * * * * *
A woman screamed the most blood-curling scream Sher had ever heard. Scar raced out of the biggest building and signaled to the soldiers to follow him. Solders appeared and fell into ranks. He led them directly towards the scream.
Scar was running as fast as he could back to Clearing Glades when Ray busted out of the forest carrying his sword.
“Where is she?” he demanded at Scar. “You were supposed to be watching her! Get out of my sight!”
Scar, who had always looked so sure of himself, suddenly cringed as Ray scolded him. The way he carried himself had gone from lion to mouse.
Ray then turned to the group of men Scar had assembled. He yelled at them to follow as he ran towards Clearing Glades. Hopefully Av still lived. Her previous scream had not been too reassuring.
Av looked toward the king’s face and gasped.
* * * * * * * * * * *
As Ray lunged into the sentries he knew the men never had a chance. He jumped and killed the three before they even saw him coming. The New World Warriors flowed closely behind Ray as he approached the rest of the army.
Ray suddenly stopped moving and listened.
“Come now, girl. What is your relationship to my brother?” the king asked Av.
“Who is your brother?” she asked.
“Don’t try my patience, girl.” The King continued, “How did you meet my brother?!”
Av let out a deep sigh, trying to stay collected. “And who is your brother?” she repeated.
“Insolence, girl” the King said as he slapped Av.
Ray could feel his anger boiling inside. His eyes narrowed to slits as the king yelled at Av. The king singled out a guard and instructed him to hit her with his gauntlet.
The small twang of the string was the only warning. Just as he was winding his hand back, an arrow was between the soldier’s eyes. The man fell dead at the king’s feet. Av screamed a horrible scream as terror struck the solders. They scrambled to protect the king.
During the chaos was when it happened. The entire group assembled by Ray lunged out of the forest. Sounding the retreat, the king and his men ran back to town, the New World Warriors following closely behind them.
Ray turned to Av and pulled out his dagger. He made quick work of the ropes that bounded her there. The moment she was free, Ray grabbed her and pressed his lips against hers in a passionate kiss. When they stopped, the crimson was already spreading across his face.
“My deepest apologies,” he said “It’s just I thought I would never see you again and then…”
Av laid her finger across his lips. “Stop talking and do it again.”
As they were enjoying the moment, a Glanda solder returned. “Sir, we really should be getting back.”
“Aw yes, very good. Let’s head out” Ray replied hastily.
Moments later they were at the secret city. Ray entered first, Av linked at his arm. The soldiers carrying the dead closely followed them. The soldiers broke off and headed over to a small church. Suddenly, a woman walked up to Ray and slapped him across his right check.
“That’s for leaving me!” the woman screamed at him and stormed away.
“What was that all about?” Av asked Ray.
“Well… you see… she is my ex-fiancée.”
“What! You’re married! How dare you kiss me you…you pig!” Av yelled. She then slapped him across his left cheek and stalked off.
“Av, wait! We never got married, besides it was because her father was ill and…”
“Ray, you’re needed in the chapel now.” Clen irrupted.
“I will be right there” Ray said with one last look at Av as she walked away.
Jerry:
Nice going. :P
Still want to read more of it!
Curtoa:
Whew I had almost forgotten to post today. So in this short chapter we meet a new character who will be playing a part in the developing story as well as seeing Ray's more troubled conscience come into play which becomes further developed later on.
Chapter Four
The Death
“This better be important!” he shouted as he came in the church followed by Clen.
“It’s Father Fredrick, he’s dying,” the Glandin doctor stated through a stone face.
“Ray, come here.” Fredrick whispered in a husked voice.
“What is it Father?”
“Do you remember when your brother found out that he was indeed born first and then preceded banished the clerk who messed up the dates and said you were the firstborn?”
“How could I forget that day?” Ray wondered to himself what this was all about.
“Ray, I paid the second clerk. I made him rewrite the royal tree.” Fredrick lapsed into a coughing fit. When he was done he resumed. “Your brother was more vile then the devil himself. He would have killed you in order to get the throne.”
“Father, are you saying that I am the rightful king of the empire?”
The man looked at Ray and said, “Yes, But you are more than that you are the ruler of the people. Look at these people from all races they follow you not because you are a Prince or an Emperor they follow you because you are just and you fight against tyranny.” With that, the great priest, royal advisor, and Ray’s mentor died.
Ray turned around and grabbed the closet person, pulling them to his face, “Prepare his body for burial,” he hissed coldly.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Ray tried to watch the preparation to honor his friend’s memory but found he could not. He excused himself and went to Father Fredrick’s cell to stand in the doorway. Time passed as Ray simply thought. Countless hours later, a man was sent to find Ray. He was still in the doorway.
“Sire, the procession is ready.”
“So?” was all Ray could respond. The numbness that had seeped in from his stiff limbs had reached his mind and feelings. Finally Ray made movements towards the procession that was already on its way.
* * * * * * * * * * *
“And so with the final passing of our beloved Father Fredrick we move into a sadder but a no less hopeful future. I ask you to join me in the Lord’s Prayer.” One of the monks concluded the burial.
* * * * * * * * * * *
“Ray there was nothing you could have done; it was just time for him to go.” Ravenflight placed a hand on his back.
Ray flinched away from her comforting hand “No it is my fault, I should have renounced my brother earlier no matter what I did to help the people it was me who put them here in this godforsaken forest.” He turned to face Ravenflight and grabbed her by her shoulders “it was me who lead the army into their towns I killed their family and burnt their homes. Don’t you get it? There not fighting the person who put them here no their following him. You, see now don’t you the monster we fight is not King Henry not the captain of the guard me!”
“Ray!” Scar ran in to the clearing and pulled Ray off of Ravenflight “What are you thinking? Ravenflight is with child!” Ravenflight’s jet-black hair was meshed with Scar’s.
“Am sorry, Scar, please forgive me.” Ray then turned and walked off into the woods.
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